Waddle Doo and the (Anti-)Racist Police
Status: Complete?
Rating: E
Posted: 12/17/2022
Finished: N/A (Written 2015-2016)
Word count: 10,146
Characters: Waddle Doo, Racist Waddle Dee #1, Racist Waddle Dee #2, Meta Knight, Bandana Waddle Dee, Kirby, King Dedede
Mission #1: Racist Waddle Dees
Waddle Doo was strolling through the hallway of Dedede's castle, humming casually. That was, at least, until he heard some Waddle Dees having a conversation about tacos. Curious, he peeked around the corner and watched them. He stayed hidden, though. Waddle Dees didn't typically like Waddle Doos. "They're rejects," the Waddle Dees would scoff. "Like, look at that giant eye. They're weird."
"...Where do tacos come from, anyway?" One of the Waddle Dees asked. "They're a Mexican food-" The second Waddle Dee started to answer, but that was when Waddle Doo jumped inbetween them and pointed his sword at them. "That's racist!" He yelled.
The Waddle Dees stared at him silently for a moment. Then, one of them asked the other Dee, "Hey, how many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"I dunno." The other Waddle Dee shrugged. "How many?"
"Just Juan," the Waddle Dee snickered, causing the other one to burst into laughter. Waddle Doo gasped. "That's even racister!"
"That...that isn't even a word," one of the Waddle Dees pointed out, scratching his head. "It's still racist!" Waddle Doo yelled.
"Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it, cyclops?" The other Dee snickered.
"I'm going to get the Racist Police to arrest you!" Waddle Doo yelled, causing the Dees to roll on the floor laughing. "I am serious!" Waddle Doo yelled, but the two didn't seem to hear him. He glared at them, then yelled, "You won't be laughing when I get the Racist Police!"
And with that, he ran down the hallway to gather acquaintances.
Waddle Doo waited patiently after he knocked on the door. After a moment, Meta Knight opened it. "Waddle Doo?" He asked, confused. "Why are you here?"
"I NEED YOUR HELP, MAN!" Waddle Doo yelled.
"Shh, shh," Meta Knight said, shaking his head. "Not so loud, that hurts my hearing. Here, come in." He gestured inside, and Waddle Doo sat on a chair at a desk while Meta Knight sat on his bed.
"I need your help, man!" Waddle Doo repeated.
"What?" Meta Knight asked. "Speak up, my hearing's not what it used to be!"
"I NEED YOUR HELP!" Waddle Doo screamed.
"Dude, what the hell?! I said not to yell!" Meta Knight snapped, glaring at Waddle Doo.
"But you just said-"
"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"
"Uh...I'm just gonna find someone else..." Waddle Doo stood up and slowly backed out of the room. "What? Am I not fabulous enough for you?!" Meta Knight snapped, clearly offended. "Get off my lawn!"
"But you don't have a lawn-"
"GET OUT!" Meta Knight rudely shoved Waddle Doo into the hallway, then slammed the door shut. "Pffft. Drama llama," Waddle Doo muttered to himself. "Ah well. I'll go find someone else."
So, young (?) Waddle Doo continued walking through the hallway to find acquaintances. At least until he bumped into a particular, blue bandana-wearing Waddle Dee, accidentally knocking him over. "BANDANA WADDLE DEE!" Waddle Doo screamed.
"Dude, first you trample me, then you scream at me?" Bandana Dee scoffed, since Waddle Doo had knocked him over and stepped on him. "Nice to see you, too."
Waddle Doo picked up Bandana Dee and held him in front of him. "TWO WADDLE DEES ARE BEING EXTREMELY RACIST AGAINST MEXICO AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO FORM THE RACIST POLICE SO WE CAN ARREST THEM!!!!!" He screamed as he shook the Waddle Dee.
"You want me to go against my own kind..?" Bandana Dee asked, giving Waddle Doo an eyebrow raise. "You know that goes against so many things."
"PLEEEEEEEASE?!" Waddle Doo begged, shaking Bandana Dee again. "Nope, sorry." Bandana Dee squirmed out of Waddle Doo's grasp, picked up his spear, which he'd dropped when Waddle Doo picked him up, and started to walk down the hall.
Oh no. One does not simply walk away from a Waddle Doo.
Waddle Doo ran after Bandana Dee and shoved him to the ground. "Hey!" Bandana Dee yelled. Waddle Doo quickly grabbed his spear, then bolted down the hall. "Give me my spear back!" Bandana Dee yelled as he chased after him. "Why do you even need a spear?! You freaking have your own sword!"
Waddle Doo briefly looked at the leather strap on his side that held his sword. "Oh, right," he said. "Well, I'm still taking your spear anyway!" And with that, he continued running down the hall, an angry Waddle Dee chasing him.
After a while of running, Waddle Doo suddenly tripped over something blue. Once he got up, he realized that it was someone, not something. Meta Knight, to be more specific. "Watch where you're going!" Meta Knight snapped.
"Sor-" Waddle Doo started to apologize, then noticed that Meta Knight had dropped his sword. Ah well, no harm in having extra weapons. So, he grabbed Meta Knight's sword and ran down the hallway.
When Bandana Dee finally caught up, he noticed Meta Knight laying on the floor. "Uhm...that can't be too comfortable..." He said. "That Waddle Doo just took my sword!" Meta Knight complained as he got up.
"Really? He took my spear, too!"
The two were silent for a moment. Meta Knight looked down the hallway, and the two stared for a moment. "AFTER HIM!" They screeched.
Meanwhile, Waddle Doo was still running. He looked behind him to see if the other two were chasing him. Good, no sign of them. Since he wasn't watching where he was running, he ran right into a wall. "Ugh...ow..." he mumbled, before he heard some nearby snickers. He looked up and gasped when he saw the two racist Waddle Dees from earlier.
"Hey, where's the 'racist police'? Huh?" One of them laughed. "How'd that wall feel?" The other one laughed.
"Shut up!" Waddle Doo yelled as he glared at them. The Dees continued to laugh. Then, Waddle Doo heard Meta Knight yell from down the hall, "There he is!"
He looked down the hall to see an extremely ticked Bandana Dee and Meta Knight. Then, Waddle Doo got an idea. Quickly going over to the Waddle Dees, he gave one of them Bandana Dee's spear, and the other Meta Knight's sword. They looked at him questioningly, but took the weapons anyway. "These Dees took your weapons!" Waddle Doo yelled to Meta Knight and Bandana Dee, pointing at the Waddle Dees.
Once they'd caught up, Meta Knight and Bandana Dee looked at the Waddle Dees, who still seemed confused. Meta Knight glared at the one that held his sword. "...How dare you..." He glared for another moment, then suddenly tackled the Dee and began punching him repeatedly.
Bandana Dee watched them, then looked at the Dee that had his spear. "What's the matter, Bandy?" The Waddle Dee taunted, waving the spear. "Afraid that you'll just be a normal Dee without your spear?"
That set Bandana Dee off. He did the same as Meta Knight, tackling the Dee and punching him repeatedly, except way more savagely.
Once the two had finished beating up the Dees and had reclaimed their weapons, they walked away, Meta Knight mumbling to himself as he cleaned smudges off his sword with the corner of his cape.
Waddle Doo stood there for a moment watching them, before looking down triumphantly at the two beat-up Dees. "That's what you get for being racist!" He said cheerily, before trotting down the hall.
Mission #2: Racist Kirby
'Twas a peaceful day in Dreamland. The birds were signing, and the low chatter of Cappies filled the air. The temperature was crisp and cool, like a fresh spring morning. The ocean brought a cool, quiet breeze. The sun shone warmly on the small village of Cappy Town, and fluffy white clouds were illuminated by the bright blue sky.
On this particular morning, Meta Knight was sitting high up in a tree, enjoying the crisp air. He happened to look down, and recognized the familiar pink shape of his apprentice, Kirby, sitting on a tree stump. Intrigued as to what the pink puff was doing up so early, Meta Knight quietly moved down to a branch below him to get a better view of Kirby.
Kirby didn't appear to be doing anything. He was seated lazily on the tree stump, looking around boredly. He mumbled something inaudible to himself, gaze focused on the ground. "What was that, Kirby?" Meta Knight asked as he jumped out of the tree, causing Kirby to flip out over his sudden appearance. "WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU POYOING STALKER HOLY SHOTZO YOU'RE INSANE YOU MEXICAN!"
"...What did you just call me?" Meta Knight asked slowly, narrowing his eyes. "A Mexican," Kirby repeated, seeming to have calmed down. He rocked back and forth on the ground as he went on. "I mean, that's what you are, right? I'd assume that with the Spanish accent and all..."
"No!" Meta Knight huffed, clearly offended. "First off, I do not have an accent-"
"You kinda do," a random Cappy piped up as it walked by, which Meta Knight replied with a "Shut up you insignificant, mindless thing!" He glared at Kirby as he went on, "And second of all, that is-"
"RACIST!" Waddle Doo jumped out of a random tree, glaring at Kirby, causing him to flip out yet again. "WHOA WHOA WHOA WHY THE SHOTZO IS EVERYONE APPEARING OUT OF POYOING NOWHERE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WHOA WHOA WHOA!" After he'd calmed down, he stared blankly at Waddle Doo.
"Did you just, like...follow me?" Meta Knight asked, staring at Waddle Doo in a confused way. "Well, yeah," Waddle Doo said quietly. "I thought we were, like, a group, y'know? The Racist Police?"
"...What? No..." Meta Knight shook his head, still staring at Waddle Doo in that confused way. "No, just...no..." He continued to slowly shake his head, the same confused look in his gaze. "Oh...okay..." Waddle Doo trailed off quietly, looking at the ground. After a moment, he looked back up and glared at Kirby. "You're being racist!"
"HOW THE POYO AM I BEING RACIST?!" Kirby yelled. It was then that Meta Knight suddenly tackled Kirby, pinning him to the ground. "WHAT THE FRICK?!" Kirby yelled, trying to shove Meta off of him. "Go get Bandana Waddle Dee!" Meta ordered to Waddle Doo. "Maybe a few others, too! We can not let Kirby get away with this!"
"Aye aye, Sir!" Waddle Doo responded, saluting Meta Knight before running off to the castle.
When Waddle Doo finally returned with Bandana Waddle Dee, he saw that Meta Knight was casually sitting on top of Kirby while reading a book, Kirby whining underneath him. "I said I'm sowee...can you please let me go?" Kirby asked, squirming. "Nope," Meta Knight responded, flipping the page of his book. "Mmmm...!" Kirby whined, kicking and squirming.
Waddle Doo cleared his throat, and the other two looked up. "Oh, there you are." Meta Knight shut his book, then hopped off Kirby. "Have at him." He gestured at Kirby, who seemed extremely confused. Waddle Doo's eye narrowed as he held up his sword. "I'LL TEACH YOU TO BE RACIST!" He ran at Kirby, sword pointed at the puffball's face.
Now Kirby looked terrified. "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!" He jumped up into a random tree, then smirked down at Waddle Doo. "Can't get me up here!" He taunted, sticking his tongue out. At least until Meta Knight appeared in the tree, shoving Kirby out of it. "Ow...frickin' hate you..." Kirby mumbled, rubbing his head as he glared up at Meta Knight.
It was then that Waddle Doo attempted to tackle Kirby, but said puffball dodged him, yelling "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPITY NOPE I'M TOO FAB FOR YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS NOPE!" and ran off screaming.
Waddle Doo looked back and forth between Meta Knight and Bandana Dee. "Aren't you going to help?" He whisper-yelled, glaring at them. "I have no desire to harm Kirby in any way," Bandana Dee responded, twirling his spear. Meta Knight didn't say anything, and instead just continued to sit in that tree. And he had random sunglasses on for some reason. Weird.
"Ugh, you two are hopeless," Waddle Doo muttered, walking away in the direction Kirby had run off, dragging his sword behind him. He stopped when he heard footsteps behind him, and turned around in confusion to see the other two following him. Meta Knight still had the shades on, and Bandana Waddle Dee had a sniper gun. "360 no-scope, mate," Bandana Waddle Dee said, holding up his sniper and twirling in a circle with it. "We're going MLG, now," Meta Knight added, adjusting his shades. If Waddle Doo had a mouth, he would've smirked right then. Pointing his sword in the air, he shrieked, "AFTER HIM!"
Kirby walked along the sidewalk casually, looking around at the Cappies. He was really hungry, so, so hungry...ooh...that particular Cappy was looking a lot like fried chicken right now...
Two minutes later, and Kirby had already inhaled over 20 Cappies. Maybe his stomach was just making the rumblies that only Cappies could satisfy. Honestly who knows the stuff that goes on in that puffball's mind.
It was then that he was tackled to the ground. Of course, he shouldn't have been surprised that it was Meta Knight. "Uuuuugh what do you want now?" Kirby groaned. "Alright, got him!" Meta called, and it was then that Bandana Waddle Dee and Waddle Doo jumped out of a random tree. "MLG NO-SCOPE!" Bandana Dee screamed, running in circles while shooting his sniper everywhere carelessly. Of course that caused a bunch of Cappies to run away screaming, a bunch of them getting shot in the process. "LOL SCRUBS GET REKT!" Bandana Dee laughed as he continued shooting everywhere. "MWAHAHAHAHA!!"
"Er...Bandana Dee?" Meta Knight asked. "Kirby is over here."
Bandana Dee stopped his shooting to stare at the others. "Oh, whoops." He stared for a moment, then whined, "But I don't wanna shoot Kirby!"
"Shoot him?! Are you insane?!" Meta Knight glared at Bandana Dee. "Why would you shoot an unarmed child?!"
"Hey, hey, that 'unarmed child' was being racist 20 minutes ago, y'know," Waddle Doo butted in. "Racism is a weapon. Therefore, he is not unarmed. HE IS USING RACISM TO HURT THE FEELINGS OF MEXICANS EVERYWHERE!"
"Hey, just look at Mario," Kirby retorted, narrowing his eyes. "He's an Italian plumber who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"
Waddle Doo's eye twitched angrily, but Kirby went on before he could retort. "What do you call a black pilot flying a plane?" Kirby asked, smiling.
"...A black pilot?" Waddle Doo guessed, tilting his head. "No, just a pilot!" Kirby narrowed his eyes. "I think you're the racist one, here!"
"Ooh, are we making racist jokes?" The two Waddle Dees from the previous chapter stuck their heads out of a random tree. "Ooh, I like racist jokes! Hey, what's the Mexican version of One Direction?"
Waddle Doo's eye twitched again. "Don't say it—"
"Juan Direction!"
Kirby and the two Dees burst into laughter. "Hey, hey, I got one," Kirby piped up, looking up the the Waddle Dees. "What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?"
"I...don't know what?" A Waddle Dee asked, tilting his head.
"Juan on Juan!"
The three burst into laughter again.
Waddle Doo's eye twitched again. "I'm telling you, you better stop it right now..."
"Hey, what do you call a Mexican taking Tae Kwon Do?" One of the Dees asked, ignoring Waddle Doo.
"Tae Juan Do!" The other Dee answered. Again, the three burst into laughter. Kirby squirmed slightly from where he was still trapped underneath Meta Knight. He looked up, and noticed Meta's sword. Ah well. He wanted the guy off of him. So, Kirby grabbed his sword and put it in his mouth, not really eating it, but more just sitting there with it in his mouth. Because that totally made sense.
"Wha—ugh Kirby that is disgusting ew ew ew ew ew how dare you give me Galaxia right now ew ew ew." Meta Knight pulled his sword out of Kirby's mouth, staring at it with a disgusted expression. "Ew I need lots of hand sanitizer like right now ew ew ew."
"Galaxia?" Kirby echoed, looking up at Meta Knight. "That's Juan weird name!" He just really couldn't help himself. At all. Of course, the Dees and Kirby burst out laughing again.
That was the last straw for Waddle Doo.
"ENOUGH!" He shrieked. He grabbed Bandana Dee's sniper, then stole Meta Knight's shades and put them on. "I GAVE YOU THREE A CHANCE, BUT YOU BLEW IT, SO NOW Y'ALL GONNA GET REKT!"
Bandana Dee screamed and climbed up into a random tree to hide, Meta Knight slowly following him. It was then that Waddle Doo began 360 no-scoping everyone, running in circles while firing the gun everywhere. The two Dees were shot and killed, since they were just random side characters, and Kirby wound up running home, screaming all the way.
Once Waddle Doo had finally calmed down and realized he'd killed the Dees and Kirby was gone, he slowly looked around. "Uh...Bandana? Meta? Oh no, I didn't shoot you, did I?!"
"Up here!" Bandana Dee waved casually from where he was sitting in the tree with Meta Knight. "Oh, whew." Waddle Doo threw the sniper and shades off to...somewhere as the two jumped out of the tree.
"Well, looks like we did it!" Waddle Doo announced cheerily. "Racist Police FTW! High five!" He held up his stub. Bandana Dee high-fived him...if it can even be considered that...while Meta Knight looked at them with a disgusted expression. "What?" Waddle Doo asked, noticing his expression. "High-fives are one of the leading causes of germs, you know," Meta Knight stated, narrowing his eyes as he backed away from the two.
"Since when are you germaphobic?" Bandana Dee muttered, rolling his eyes. "Fine, fine, no high-fives, I get it, Meta," Waddle Doo mumbled, rolling his eye as well. "Ah whatever. Let's just get outta here before the police show up," he said, gesturing to the two dead Waddle Dees.
And the three walked off into the sunset, Meta Knight complaining about germs and how desperately he needed hand sanitizer for his sword and all.
Mission #3: RACIST DEDEDE AND META KNIGHT
Bandana Dee was casually walking down the hallway, humming some random tune to himself. Along the way, he passed Dedede's room. Since the young Waddle Dee had nothing better to do, he decided to sneak into his room and look around.
Once in there, he found a super old computer from, like, the 80's or something. Since Bandana Dee was in the mood for some video games, he decided to boot up the computer. It took a long time, but the ancient computer finally booted up. Once he heard the startup sound, Bandana Dee sprung up from where he had been reading a book on the bed and looked at the login screen. Ew. Windows Vista.
Of course, there was no login password, so Bandana Dee was able to go right onto the desktop. He searched for some games on it. No luck. There were just some boring games like solitaire, chess, etc.
But then, he found Minecraft! Excited, he started up Minecraft. Of course the version was one of the alpha versions, but hey, Minecraft is Minecraft. There was a world called "DEDEDE". Of course, Bandana Dee opened it and saw this (ignore the Windows 8 XD):
Bandana Dee slowly reached for the power button to turn off the computer. No, he did not want to play Minecraft while surrounded by a bunch of heads that resembled his king. He was about to leave the room when Dedede suddenly appeared.
"WHATCHU DOIN' TO MY VISTA!" Dedede yelled. "Nothing!" Bandana Dee cried, running past the king quickly and down the hallway.
Hmph. Bandana Dee was rather ticked. He just wanted to play some Minecraft! He should have put a virus on the computer...like, CIH or something. Or MyCleanPC. Or CryptoLocker...the author has been watching too many virus videos...
ANYWAY, Bandana Dee finally decided to go back and put a virus on Dedede's computer. So he went back to the room, hiding in the hallway until Dedede left. Perfect.
Bandana Dee quickly ran in, booted up the computer, opened up the internet browser (Internet Explorer. Ew) and started downloading all the crap he could find. Rouge anti viruses, adware, Trojans, worms, you name it. After he was done, he turned off the computer and ran down the hall, peeking around the corner, waiting for Dedede.
A few minutes later, the king went back into his room. Silence. Then:
"WHAT'S ALL THIS CRAP?! SOMEONE GET ME AN ASIAN!"
Waddle Doo had been walking down the hallway when he heard Dedede. He...needed an Asian....that was racist! So of course Waddle Doo ran into his room and yelled "Why do you need an Asian, huh?"
"I dunno...aren't Asians like, good with math and stuff?" Dedede shrugged. "Good with computers too, I thought?"
Waddle Doo trembled with fury. "No!"
"Hm...maybe it was Mexicans, then..." Dedede said. "They're pretty much the same thing, right? Yeah yeah. Go get me Meta or somethin'," he said, looking back at his computer, which now had a crap ton of popups and stuff on it.
"Dude, Meta probably knows less about computers than you do, given his age," Waddle Doo mumbled, narrowing his eye.
"Eh? I ain't old!" Meta Knight appeared out of a random air vent at the top. "Computers, eh?" He asked. "Hmm...did you try turning it off and on?"
"Oh, no, I did not," Dedede said. "Thank you." He turned off the computer, waited a few seconds, then turned it back on. Of course that didn't help at all.
"Huh. I had thought for sure that would have worked," Meta said, scratching his head.
"Computer help, you say?" Kirby appeared from underneath the bed, munching on a cookie. "Did you try running command prompt as an administrator and using the SFC utility to scan the system for corrupt files? You could also manually check system files to see if their file size has increased. If the file sizes increased, then that means that a virus got into them and injected it's own code into the program's, resulting in a larger file than the original. It looks like you have a lot of adware, too. Refreshing your browser and deleting some of its files from the registry should fix that. You should also go to Control Panel and uninstall all suspicious-looking programs that were installed recently. Are your system applications working? If not, you probably got a worm that infected and/or deleted the critical system files. Why, you're lucky your computer could even boot back up! Usually a computer in that state would wind up with a corrupted BIOS, or Basic Input Output System, rendering the computer unbootable! If you have corrupted system files, I'd say your only hope is doing a clean reinstall of Windows Vista. Although I'd recommend a more modern one, such as Windows 7, if that old hunk of junk can even handle it. Or just get a Mac." He casually took another bite of the cookie while the other three stared at him like he had three heads.
"...What..." Was all Dedede said in reply.
"Ugh, computer noobs," Kirby scoffed, rolling his eyes. "If you're really that stupid, then just factory reset your computer."
"Factory...reset..?" Dedede echoed.
Kirby glared at him. "You. Are. Such. A. NOOB!!" He screeched.
Silence.
Then, Dedede quietly asked, "Are you Asian or somethin'..?"
"RACIST!" Waddle Doo and Meta Knight screeched at the same time.
"Hey, it's true," Dedede shrugged. "Chinese people eat noodles and rice, Asians are good with math and computers, all Italians are related to Mario and eat pasta and meatballs, Irish people eat potatoes, Americans eat hamburgers, Boston people can't pronounce their r's, Mexicans eat burritos, Canadians eat Canadian bacon, Swedish people listen to Swedish pop and eat Swedish meatballs, Australians always call everyone 'mate' and box with kangaroos, people in Africa always starve, Egyptians live in pyramids, and everyone in South America speaks Spanish and there's so many different dialects that they can hardly even understand each other!"
(I am part Irish, live in America and am from the Boston area so I'm kinda being racist to myself there m'kay XD)
Silence at first. Then everything was in chaos.
"That is very offensive to my people you don't know anything about my culture no we do not eat burritos all the time we eat tacos too and I can understand different dialects and there's not that many dialects okay so don't just assume things about my culture." Was Meta's quick response.
"Hey, hey, that's pretty rude, y'know," Kirby piped up. "Pretty stereotypical if ya' ask me...'course I'm not offended since I'm not any of those cultures...but still dude, like really bruh?"
Waddle Doo was in the background trembling." That...is....RAAAAAAACIIIIIIIST!" He screeched, a random fire thingy exploding around him as he suddenly got spikey black anime-ish hair, his eyes glowing and fists clenching.
"His power level...it is over 9000!" Meta Knight exclaimed, his accent being rather strong for some reason.
"See! That, that right there, his accent! He is Mexican!" Dedede yelled, to which everyone responded with a "SHADDUP!"
"No! I'm just speakin' the truth about cultures!" Dedede snapped.
"Funny how you did not mention anything about the South..." Meta Knight said, narrowing his eyes. "They don't know how to drive when there's a little snow on the ground, don't pronounce the g at the end of their words, instead ending it with an n, and-"
Waddle Doo interrupted him with a loud gasp. "TRAITOR!" He yelled, pointing at Meta. "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP RACISM, NOT ENDORSE IT!"
"And?" Meta narrowed his eyes. "Dedede insulted my culture, so I did the same to him."
"THAT IS IT AAHABDUBSJDHWKSBKDNDLAMDIEKDBCIJD!!!" Waddle Doo took out his sword and began slashing wildly at the two, with Kirby yelping a "Nope, not getting involved!" as he ducked back under the bed.
Meta had escaped back into the air vent, and Waddle Doo kept beating up Dedede until finally, three Spear Dees came, two dragging Waddle Doo off to somewhere, most likely the dungeon or something, and the third attending to Dedede.
And of course, nobody seemed to have noticed Bandana Dee, who was in the doorway the entire time with a camera, chuckling to himself. Say hello to your YouTube fame, B-Dee, he thought.
Later that day, there was a new popular video on YouTube, titled "Racist Computer Noobs Get Rekt." It showed the entire scene, from Dedede and Meta being racist, to Waddle Doo going berserk and slicing at them, and the end of it showing Waddle Doo being dragged away by the Spear Dees. Bandana Dee was happy. He was finally a somewhat popular YouTuber! The video hit 65 million views by the next day, and he got 60,000 new subscribers. Sure, he may have used sub-for-sub to get some of them, but hey, subscribers are subscribers.
Dedede and Meta Knight were both harassed on Google Plus to the point where Meta sliced his laptop in half and Dedede deleted his account. Kirby, being the computer nerd he apparently was, stole Meta's laptop when he was sleeping and managed to put it back together, so hey, free laptop for Kirby. Woo-hoo!
So, I suppose the moral is that two wrongs don't make a right. Also, you should put a password on your computer so someone doesn't put a bunch of viruses on your computer. And also be aware of your surroundings, because you never know, you could be the one everyone is laughing at on YouTube ;)
Bonus Scenes
Mission #3: More Racist Waddle Dees, cause wynaut (aka a lost scene; I have no idea where this originally came from, nor where or when I wrote it)
This time, Bandana Waddle Dee was walking down the hallway of Dedede's castle, because, let's face it, he hasn't gotten a whole lot of spotlight in this story yet.
Odd intros aside...
After a while of walking, Bandana Dee saw a group of three Waddle Dees walk by. Each one was wearing a sombrero. One was loudly playing a trumpet, another was shaking maracas, and the third was repeated singing “MEHICÓ MEHICÓ MEHICÓ!!”
As the Dees walked by, the one shaking the maracas placed a random sombrero on Bandana Dee's head before continuing off down the hallway. “Well...that was rather...”Bandana Dee thought as he watched the three leave, unable to really find a word to describe his thoughts about the situation. At least until Waddle Doo interrupted his thoughts.
“META KNIGHT TOLD ME THERE ARE RACIST WADDLE DEES IN THE AREA!!”
“I...I didn't say they were—“
“DUDE NO ONE CARES RACISM IS A MORE IMPORTANT FACTOR HERE OK NOVA YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN NOBODY ELSE IS SCREAMING EXCEPT FOR YOU OK META KNIGHT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO CURL IN A BALL IN THE CORNER OF YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE SITUATION!!!”
Silence.
During the awkward silence, Bandana Dee just stared at Meta Knight and Waddle Doo, both of who had apparently just appeared out of nowhere. Meta had a sombrero on as well, which suggested that he had already encountered the Dees.
“The racism is getting out of hand,” Waddle Doo said quietly, turning away from the other two in the dramatic way Meta Knight usually would do. “But, nobody in Dreamland even has hands,” Bandana Dee pointed out, waving around his stub things that were supposed to pass as hands/arms/limbs/whatever the crap you wanna call them.
Mission #4: Racist Waddle Doo?!
Waddle Doo awoke to find sunlight filtering into his room. Hissing like a vampire, he pulled his blanket over his head. He wasn't ready to deal with civilization quite yet.
It was a noisy morning in the castle today. Meta Knight had his classical music playing loudly, some Waddle Dees were stomping around in the hallway, and King Dedede was singing his own version of Frosty the Snowman while walking down the hall. "King, Dededede~!"
Waddle Doo rolled out of his bed, opening the door and stumbling down the hallway.